


The Z Bar Dun

by OldDVS



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 11:06:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18589999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldDVS/pseuds/OldDVS
Summary: Well, if you take the circumstances of the song Z Bar Dun and you for some insane reason insert some Hogwarts characters, you get this bit of fluff.





	The Z Bar Dun

**Author's Note:**

> My gods, it's a songfic. Never in my life did I think I was going to do one, but there you go.  
> It's sort a crossover of the characters at Hogwarts and a the cowboy song, but it's all a bit of a stretch. No doubt there's versions of the Z Bar Dun (sometimes called the Zebra Dun) on YouTube if you want to hear it. Maybe the Adam Miller version. I wrote this in 2009 or so. Looking back, I can only wonder how such a thing happened, and there was a reason this was never posted anywhere else.

He came walking up the road to the home place. The dog saw him afore I did, an set up a ruckus. Heads came up, the way they do 'round here these days. You never know what varmit is in the grass, and all the men are careful. He came at a steady pace, reached the gate, and moved through it real slow. I figured he'd been walking, maybe since morning. He wus dusty, and a little bent, the way a man might if his horse'd thrown him and left him a mite bruised.

By the time he reached the house, the men had gathered round. It was getting hot by then, and there wasn't a man among them who didn't hanker fer a little entertainment before getting in the saddle again. I saw the man ask ole Hag a question, and Hag pointed towards the house, so I know he'd asked fer the boss.

The boss came out of the house just as the young man reached the steps. By this time you could see he was a youngster, maybe not got all his growth on him, and he was a sight to see, let me tell you. He wus pale as a ghost and hair so light colored it wuz plum white, and he wore the damnedest outfit you ever saw. He was an dude, fer sure. He wore a fancy vest over a white shirt, and a tight fittin coat, and his hat wasn't near big enough to swat a fly. His hands were lily white, and he had the look of somebody who hadn't ever done a lick of work in his life. His face was made with a sharp nose that appeared like he wuz always looking down it, and his mouth was a little small.

"I'm looking for the boss," said the man, looking around. 

The boss gave a nod and nudged his hat. "What can we do for you, son?" the boss inquired, in a tone which was almost nice. That alone was a bit of a surprise, because the boss is usually about as sweet as a crab apple. 

"I should like to borrow a horse." Had an accent that was even more est than Boston, and a way of stickin' his nose up that made you want to hit it with yer fist.

There was some snickers at that. Didn't know him from Adam, after all, and he sure wasn't from around here. If he wanted to borrow a horse instead of buy one, he didn't have much in his pocket, either.

"You have some trouble, did you?" asked Herm Granger. Granger is a nosy so and so an doesn't always know when to keep his mouth shut.

"The boss over at the D & E and I didn't see eye to eye," the man explained. Well, we'd heard of that outfit. Bought up some land to the north of us, and some say a lot of calves were showing up with their funny looking brand. It's a V, and under that a wavy line. Not to hard to make with a runnin' iron, if you know what I mean.

That made the boss shove his hat back a little as he studied the kid. He don't hold with the D & E, or Tom Riddle who runs it. Used to work for him at one time himself, and didn't care for the man. He's been here for over a year, an still won't talk about the time he worked fer that outfit. 

"We can loan you a horse," he said. "Which direction are you headed?"

"South."

"You can leave it at the livery stable at Pigbump, I reckon?" Snape spit on the ground and looked hard at him.

"I can. Thanks."

The boss gave a short nod.

The twins are Fred and George Weasley, and you can't tell them apart most of the time. Each worse than the other one for pranks and trouble, but good hands, both of them. I knew they were up to something, and sure enough, Fred went to the corral, and he was real careful which horse he dropped his rope over. His brother went and got an old saddle from the barn, and before long they were leading up Ol Dun.

That hoss, he looks well enough and he's not hard to catch. He comes along sweet as a lamb, and stands when you mount him. It's just that he's an opinionated brute, and in his opinion, he don't need a cowboy on his back.

So the dude nods real polite to Fred and takes the reins, and he swings up onto Ol Dun.

An Ol Dun he quit the earth.

The men gathered 'round. The wagerin started before a single hoof came down again, and it sure didn't stay down. That pony went up like he was blown from a cannon. A wailin and a squeeling and a havin wall-eyed fits, his hind feet perpendicular and his front feet in the bits. He swapped ends and did it again. The sun flashed off his hooves and his head scraped the dirt. That dude's hat came off and hit the ground, and the horse came down on it like an arrow into a target. Smashed it flat and then sent it sailing over the crowd, so that Hag had to duck or have it take his eye out.

The boys were shoutin out advice and some of it was even good, but the stranger wasn't paying attention. His jaw was set and he was leaning into it like he should, and he kicked him when he whirled. After a series of nasty jerks, the man thumped him good on the shoulder and Ol Dunny took exception to that and tried to bite off his boot. Or maybe he was trying to screw them both straight into the ground. Ol Dun stumbled , fell back on his tail and came up again just as onry as ever, crowhoppin towards the crowd, who leaped back, whooped and fanned their hats and shouted, just about as happy as any of them have ever been. Dun launched himself up again, flung up his heels and hunched coming down. He landed hard, and I could see Hag wince in sympathy. That horse decided he liked that and repeated it about five times. 

The dude was staying on, sticking like glue, but his face was a color seldom see in human beings and the red blood trickling down from a small cut by his eye wasn't helping none. He shouted something, maybe about being the wolf of the world, but it could have been something a lot less polite, too. 

But then there was a leap that wasn't as high as the last, and a twist that wasn't as tight and all at once, that hoss was head down, huffin' like a train.

And the dude says, sorta mild like, “He'll do.” 

The boss nods and says, “When yu get done with yer business, I can use a hand like yu.”

“Thank you kindly. I will remember that,” the man says in his fancy voice, and then he gives the Dun a nudge with his heel and the hoss snorts a few times and heads out. We got back to work and the hands were talkin' about it, and wonderin' if the man 'ud be back. When Potter and the other Weasley get back from ridin' fence, they're gonna be right upset they missed all the fun. But sumthin' tells me that thar fancy boy will be back. Ridin' the Z Bar dun.


End file.
